Heart breaking day yesterday...teenage daughter and I were having a conversation and she was unhappy, I guess, with our conversation, so she put me on speaker phone so her father and stepmother could hear our conversation. Now how do I know this, her father called and decided to try and read me the riot act...saying I sounded like a raving lunitic...unbelievable. she and i were discussing her inability to inform me of what is going on with events that up coming. she always has some lame teenage excuse why..but seems to be able to tell her dad and stepmother. then out of the blue and in a rush she will tell me the day of, etc..and i get very irriated at this. she is 17 not 7! She wants to be treated like a young adult, but continually acts like a small child...with her putting me on speaker phone, i just don't know what i feel...betrayed, hurt, made a fool of, angry, privacy invaded....her father is my exhusband...i just don't know how to feel. i am hurt mostly. i was made to be the joke, the bad parent, etc...and i don't like that at all...

oh well, what does this day have to offer...nothing but the same old same old....got some "loving" messages from her today...she knows, but I am in no mood, and no where near willing to be so receptive...maybe i am being childish right now, but i think i have the right..she knew what she was doing, and it was spiteful and ugly...and i am in no mood to talk to her, deal with her..i am affraid of what i might say...she knows, trust me she knows...if she was an adult i would have no problem having words with her about the invation of my privacy, and how ignorant her stunt was.

i love my daughter with all my heart...she is my world, but to have her hurt me purposely, well, i wonder how much she acutally loves me...if she feels as though i can be the "butt of her joke".